Light Man

Blah

haven’t typed a blog in real long. broken promises (in terms of ideas for my blogs).  i’ll think of something good to type by tomorrow.

Top 3 Quotes of Yesterday’s “Drunk Blogs”

1.  F*cking Lawrence is Asian and all along I thought he was a virgin. 

2.  Ove don’t wanna drive cuz he’s buzzed and Frank got a goatee

3.  I hate using the bathroom as the world has more fun then me. 

(wow, my grammar and spelling are 100 times worse when I’m under the influence)

Ove talking to his sister about diapers

Ove don’t wanna drive cuz he’s buzzed and Frank got a goattee.  I just had some garlic fries but I wish I was getting drunk at the San Jose Flea Market.  I’m gonna name my next cat Monica cuz it’s an awesome sounding name.  Ove is so mad today, but I don’t know why.  Maybe he’s on his period.  I like how he says “Matt Cain”, he says “Kay-nn”.  Ove just called “Sandoval” a “f*cking dick!”.  Ove doesn’t stink today.  I keep coughing.  I wondering if I’m dying.  MW2 giving double points but I don’t know for how long, Ove’s new nickname is “Stretch Armstrong”.  Ove is so racist towards people who ride the bus; I don’t know why.  Kathy is cute.  I need some new boots, but I don’t have any to begin with.  Gonna watch the Lakers game tomorrow.  Lawrence, Lakers,ha.  I need sleep.  Frank is the only person not to spill a beer today.  Ove is drinking his budlight but it’s coo.  I need to play some more MW2 cuz the double points are Lakers.  Shit.  I need to relax.  I need to do something cool. Cumleys McGee.  Damn, this is one sad ass blog.  I hope I don’t regret any of this in the morning.  To live and die in DC, is the way to be!  Garlic fies are more beneficial than crack.  OK, bad sequel.  Peace

Is my Mom being mean to everybody cuz she wants to be a buzz kill? (I’m drunk as hell pt. 3)

Hi I’m Earl and on the throne right now.  I hate using the bathroom as the world has more fun then me.  I was about to spell “fun” as “phune”, WTH? Haha.  I used “haha” cuz I might see the concert of lady gaga in August.  Ove called me a welterweight today and I thought that meant how I was the shit, but apparently he thought that welterweight meant that it was lighter than light weight.  I hope my mom doesn’t throw my bottles away cuz I need to take a pic of them.  Do gilfs exist to the rest of the world?  They sure as hell exist for me.  Could I get sued over this blog like the guy that sued over the toe or tow truck company that gave crappy service?  Mah Moms that were pissed that I was drunk or is drunk at my place.  But hell, I’m fine cuz i’m on the crapper and safe at home.  I feel like sleeping but a peeping time might bite me.  I wonder if I could run a race with 12 Mike’s hard lemonaid’s in my body.  I know that I spelled that wrong, don’t judge me poopy face.  Filipinos are awesome.  I don’t know why these yellow guys diss them.  When can I get out of my jail cell dammit?  Die-errr-eee-ahhh!  Mango is more gangster than Snookie Williams.  Or Tookie.  Shitty shitty bang bang! Now I know why my drunk past couldn’t control themselves next to hombres rombres.  I think I’m gonna vomit.

You Ain’t my mom! Vacuum N***a! (Drunk Blog Pt. 2)

Ove just coughed.  He’s taking about something about a “thing”.  Fuck, I have no more beer.  Frank is talking about one on one and the world, but I dont know whatever what the fuck he’s talking about.  Maybe World of Warcraft.  Ove is pissed at Frank for being a philosopher, but whatever, I’m forgot.  Cum see me oh really!  Fuser has no clue what the hell is going on but I want to watch My Name is Earl when I’m even more high cuz Frank let me hit his joint for a little.  Ove didn’t get high but its coo cuz he’s calling Frank a virgin.  Ove might drive so he didn’t get high cuz weed is bad for a dude that drives.  Shit, this might be my best poem yet!  Damn girl, do ya miss a gee like me? Skunkalou with a chest like wee?  My internet connection is fucking over Ove’s match in MW2 but I don’t care cuz he’s mean to Cesar the sensitive froggy.  Who feels froggy when the lights are out.  Twelve o clock is what I’m about!  Do any Exs think about the mission to destruction.  Fuck this, give me thed weed and let me do the robot again.  Mark rhymes with Clark cuz Bart rhymes with fart.  Ove just offered me budlight but it’s coo cuz he don’t like fools who like AC-130’s.  Who the hell is Jimmy by the way? Ove and Frank keep mentioning him.  Shit, I needs my Mike’s hard lemonade.  Weed comes from a seed cuz I need to pee on the floor.  Fucking Lawrence is Asian and all along I thought he was a virgin.  Did I spell that right?  I need Ove to stop saying “c’mon man” cuz “kaaaaamaaaan” sounds way better.  Time to pee and take a break.